Mommy Award!

I was tagged by my friend Amber with a Mommy Award!

Here are the rules:
1. Admit ONE thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are NO LONGER allowed to feel bad. It's over with, it's in the past. Remember, you're a great mom!
~  I hate that despite my attempts, I am not patient.  I REALLY struggle with having to tell the girls (mainly Hannah) to do something more than twice.  Twice is my limit.

2. To remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list SEVEN things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself of EVERY DAY that you rock!

1-  I love watching how tender Hannah is with Justyce and knowing she learned that from us.

2-  I love watching the girls ride bikes together.  J wants so badly to be a big kid like her sisters and even insists on riding on the sidewalk- not the grass.

3-  I love watching Justyce playing with her Fisher-Price Little People.  She moves them around the barn and their house and you can just see the wheels turning in her little head.

4- I love sharing Hannah's successes with her right now as she learns to read.

5- I love the way Justyce scrunches her nose at us when she is being naughty or funny.

6- Even though I say its a nusiance, I love than Hannah comes and cuddles in our bed at night.

7- I love that we have given our girls the gift of a sister, I of all people, know just how precious that is. 

I'm falling apart @ the seams...

I was unable to get J's biopsy scheduled today.  The nurse who schedules them was in surgery all day.  Chris left for Denver today.   He will be back late Saturday night.  I had a rough night at work.  I am still dealing with leftover financial mess from closing on the house.  I don't know how I am going to make it through the week.

2:20 pm

At 2:20 pm today I received a voicemail from Justyce's doctor @ Primary Children's.  He informed me that the medical panel met last week and have come to a near certain conclusion that the unknown on Justyce's back are tumors, most likely lipoma.  Lipoma is about 95% benign.  However, we are calling tomorrow to schedule a biopsy.  We feel is it better to be certain than sorry.  Please keep our baby girl in your thoughts.  She completes us.

We mean spring!

The girls and I were having a rough morning and what better way to cure it than unleashing them outside.  J loves being outside.  She especially loves the wind and the snow.  Luckily, for Hannah and I, there was none this morning.  Could it really finally be here?

MUST BRAG!

You all know I LOVE BabyLegs. http://babylegs.com/ They are the absolute cutest baby accessory, however, they can get quite costly. I discovered that adult arm warmers are the exact same dimension but less than half the cost. I got great ones like shown above @ Rue 21 on clearance for 50 cents. I just had to brag because you all know how I love a great bargain! And Justyce ABSOLUTELY loves skulls. She has the jolley jack purple baby legs and loves them. They are her favorite! If I open her drawer and ask her to pick some socks they are the first ones she picks without fail. She could really care less for the striped ones or even the zebra.

A Hannah Funny...

Hannah:  I want to grow my hair out long again and then cut it all off like I did last year.

Mom:  That sounds great!  Have you heard of Locks of Love?  Once your hair gets really long we can cut it off and donate it to people who don't have hair.

Hannah:  People like Daddy?

We are having a rough week here in the Kawa household.  I hate whining but this is my blog and I will do it as much as I see fit.  It's fitting like a glove right about now.  :)

Hannah has hit an all-time level of difficulty.  I have had it so easy with her thus far and I guess it had to come to an end sooner or later.  The kid will not listen.  She acts so sincere when we are explaining expectations and sounds like she is going to be gung-ho to follow rules.  However, reality is a different story and it is getting to be so trying to get her to follow basic house rules.  I know that she understands what we expect (i.e.- no yogurt in the tv room, no stickers on your walls, etc.) but selectively chooses when she follows the rules.  

Today she threw a screaming, onbnoxious fit when it was time to put her bike away to go to my sister's house.  She knew it was coming.  It wasn't an idea we sprung on her.  Nonetheless, she threw a tantrum fit for a 2 year old.  I don't know what to do somedays.  Revoking priveleges doesn't work.   She seems to think she runs the house and I guess in essance for along time she did.  I just want to pull my hair out, although it's not a viable solution it may make me feel better momentarily.

We went to Primary last Friday for J's appointment for her vascular abnormalities/hemangioma.  It looks like we may be at square one in regard to all that.  The MRI she had at Mc-Kay didn't pick up on the masses.  I don't understand why not.  The masses are visible to the naked eye.  The new doctor seems much better than the last doctor we saw at Primary.  He has much better bedside manner and actually talks to us like we are people and not numbers in a case study.  He is going to talk about J at a medical conference later this month and seek input from other specialists and then will get back with us.  Between now and then I try not to dwell on all the "what ifs."

UGGHHH...

Everyone tries to paint a rosy picture on their blog.  I am just going to comeout and say it.  Being a mom is hard.   It is just plain hard and I don't know how I am going to get through the next day let alone the next 17-plus years.