Our J-Baby

Justyce. Justyce. Justyce. This post is going to be dedicated to my little girl. I am going to say once again- she is so hard. She is the most difficult child I have ever had to deal with. Not that I have a long list of children whom I have cared for under my belt. I am so not a kid person. Kids are such a foreign being to me. I love mine and completely get mine but the rest just intimidate me. Anyway- back to J lady.

This child makes everyday a challenge and most days I am exasperated beyond belief. I consistently find myself commiserating with my mom and my husband about Justyce and just how hard she is. Right now I am realizing that I need to stop. I need to look at the positive. Justyce has made me a better mom. I constantly am having to find new ways of being patient and creative in order to meet her insatiable needs. She needs what seems like constant attention. But I am finding that its not constant attention that she needs but constant inclusion. As long as I strive to constantly include her in my day our days go much smoother.

Of course she still has her meltdowns and gets frustrated and yells at us all day. It wouldn’t be a day with J without that. I think J just needs more than Hannah did. Hannah is so easy. J has been hard from the 6 week mark in the belly. She has me on some form of bed rest for more than half of her stay in my body and in constant pain and fear of her ejecting herself early. And then she did eject herself early and has fought an uphill battle since.

I constantly wonder what the future holds for her to need such special love and guidance and I hope that I can help her meet her challenges successfully. Hopefully when we meet her challenges, together, she will still laugh and scrunch her face at me. She will still be everyone’s J-Baby.

"Mom- Justyce needs a crate like Hurley."

Me and the chicks after going to Rodizios with Daddy, Tyler and Michelle.

Just the chicks. Oh, and lamby. I must have been weak since I let him out of the house considering the losing him @ FrontRunner incident!

JC touching things she shouldnt.

They partied a little too hard @ the Victory Party.

Yes, her shirt says Barack for my birthday. JC's 1st birthday was on election day and she got her wish. :)

"Mom- you are the best freezer pizza maker."

This is me and the chick peas @ the Utah Democrats Victory Party.

This is JC @ daddy's halloween party.

Hannah was a geisha. She is obsessed with all things asian- including sushi. That is a mouthful of donut not sushi- thankfully.

Hannah @ Tyler and Michelle's wedding. She is mad she had to go open before the bar opened. :)

JC and I at said wedding.

"Mom, what was that noise?" "I don't know, Hannah" "Mom, it absolutely wasn't a turtle!"

I am going to start titling my post with Hannah-isms. There are so many everyday. Maybe someday soon we will have J-isms. The Hannah-ism is from driving to Salt Lake last night to meet Daddy and get some dinner. There was a small noise in the truck. I think J dropped her sippy cup.

Hannah got placed in the highest reading group at school, the red reading group. I told her that participating in the group would help her become and excellent reader. To which she replied, "I can already read. I don't need a group." She is so modest. ;) The kid just tells things like it is. Kind of like how she told her great-grandma she was going to grow up and get a tattoo on her back like her mom, its better than getting one on your arm like her aunt. I don't even think my grandma knew I had a tattoo. Thanks, Hannah!

Dilemna...

I always feel like I am having some sort of dilemna. Right now we are looking at making a locational change for our family. Houses are so freaking expensive. Its not the price tag on the house. Oh no, its the monthly payment every month for the next bazillion years. And if I move I want to NEVER have to move again. I want my final home an unfortunately I don't see that happening unless I make some serious lifestyle changes. It's not that I am afraid to make those changes, It's that I am afraid I am not disciplined enough to stick to those changes. I am not a naturally disciplined person. I cheat on diets, i don't take work seriously, I don't frequent the gym as I should, I impulse buy, I haven't done what I need to do to be good in the kitchen and I just plain do what I want.

How do people do it? How do they stick to a budget? How do they stay committed to being a good homemaker? How? How? How? I can do it. That I know. But can I stick to it? I would need to in order to get the kind of home I want, where I want it and not have to go back to work full-time. My biggest qualm is that I get my house and I don't stay disciplined and then I have to not go to school and work full-time and have no one to blame for my situation but me. I need some sort of frugal, homemaker rescue. Someone to come in, kick me when I am down and help me be disciplined and keep my wandering eye on that light at the end of the tunnel.

Changes...

Yay! So I finally got my part time shift. I am stoked! It starts Friday.

It's been awhile...

I need to update- that I know. I am now on a couldn't be worse shift where I have to be to work @ 5 am and I am still in limbo on whether or not I can switch to part-time status. Once I get home from work I am too exhausted to do much of anything besides play referee to the kiddos. Our sitter is finally back in town and will start watching our kids tomorrow so that will make things a little easier. I have gotten so spoiled by having a caretaker come to our house and watch our girls that having to go pick them up seems like a huge chore. I know, enough whining. But it doesn't end there. ;)

Hannah is going to St.George this week with my mother-in-law to visit Hannah's great-great grandmother. She is lucky to have such living relatives! I am nervous because she is going to be gone for 4 days! I have NEVER been seperated from her for that long, except of course for me to go on vacation. It's a little surreal for her to have her own life and to be able to go on a trip without me and her biggest concern in how much she is going to miss Justyce. It just reminds me that someday she won't need me anymore and how much I don't want that day to come. Tomorrow I will update with pics. We have had some big events since I last posted. J turned 1 and the chicks partied it up @ the Utah Democrats victory party. More to come on all that...